BRUTALOVE: Why is it Unreasonable to Stay with Someone Who Hurts You Often?

Posted: November 27, 2014 in The RYE Thing

Jeremiah 17:9

“Who can understand the human heart? There is nothing else so deceitful; it is too sick to be healed.

Someone may be abused because of (mis)conceptions about love—this could be the very reason that many a people say that when you love someone, you must ready yourself to sacrifice everything; you must cease from complaining; you must love until the end—to the extent that you are utmost dejected.

We are often duped by our outlook that loving someone is a replication of our favorite fantasy movie; that love is always a fairy tale where when climax is over, a flawless denouement awaits. Therefore, you can find it rational to disagree that life is a roller coaster that only goes up. So think, is it possible to have a happy ending wherein the very person who thinks that hurting you as a lucrative business is apparently your partner?

Never let yourself to be a servile to anybody. It is an undeniable norm that most often than not, people are blinded by love (or lies). Do not be fooled by promises and kisses and sweetness. Open your eyes and listen to what your conscience says. You might be too infatuated that it is too difficult for you to see things clearly. The truth is, you are neither blind nor blinded. It is only that you choose not to see anymore because you are afraid to feel the pain—in fact, you do, you just pretend you don’t.

Do not allow love be unrequited. When you are in an intimate relationship, you are the most deserving person to feel loved. Sadly, rustier than a cliché, to be loved back is a battle cry many people are deaf about.  When you are sure enough that you are playing the “one-way” within the “two-way” affection, there is no point of staying in a relationship for good when your partner always makes you fretful that you will soon get what you deserve. It is not about asking for things in return, it is just about wanting for things to be fair.

Be not afraid to lose the past, be afraid to lose the future. It might be true in a sense that the investment both of you had might turn into a not so beautiful nightmare. But if it seems impossible to change your partner into an ideal someone who can be fair enough to you, maybe it is the time for you to burst the bubbles. Sometimes, that “somebody” you need to consider is yourself. If it is not anymore too early to leave, do so. Do not let yourself get so much trauma that you would lose all the positive outlook towards your awesome morrow—life is not about holding the past, it is about preparing for the future.

Your dreams are still dreams. Don’t be so worried and restless if you are giving up your partner. There are so many fish in the ocean, and you can get some that don’t bite. If you have already figured out a dream with that person, there is none much to be apprehensive about. You must just give up the person and not your hope. Whether with that person or otherwise, there is always a reason to continue what you have started out. It is just like: “when you got infected twigs on your plant, you just cut that small branch and not the whole plant.” Always know your priorities. The people who will be with you are apparently a product of your choice and not of anybody else’s.

It can be normal for you to detest or loathe somebody who abused your love and loyalty. But, it must not take quite a long while for your resentment to fade out. If you would NOT think forgiveness as a fair ground to consider, soon you will be transformed into someone worse than the person you hated the most.

Jeremiah 17:10

I, the LORD, search the minds and test the hearts of men. I treat each one according to the way he lives, according to what he does.”

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